“About two years ago, my mum discovered how to play solitaire on the computer. About two weeks ago she discovered how to play music on the computer. Today in total amazement she told me she could play solitaire and listen to music at the same time.”—Parents Just Don’t Understand: Issue 197 (via collegehumor)
Jack: Oh, and this lady, she used to sit at this bar every night wearing every piece of jewelry she owned just waiting for her long lost love. I called her Madame Bijou. See her clothes are all moth eaten.